You know how everyone says it’s a really bad idea to talk to your exes? They’re right. DON’T DO IT! However once in a lifetime, this can make you realize how much you’ve changed and how happy you are with the choices you’ve made over the years. And you end up listening to songs that remind you of all the amazing times you had with every one of those who said good-bye at a certain point in your life. And you are grateful you had the chance to live that and you smile, wishing they’d feel the same and that one day you’ll meet them again and you’ll remember together all the drama, the dances in the middle of the night, the Port wine and the tuberculosis, the stolen garlic bread and the walks around an old town holding hands, the tripping, the embarrassing farts, the photo albums, the laughs, the bad jokes, the happy times.
I’ve realized tonight I’m a fucking lucky girl though I have no idea where I’m heading with my life. I’m finishing university in a couple of months and for some unknown reason I’m not scared of what’s next. I’ve stopped searching for perfection and I couldn’t be happier. I have no work experience in my area, though my last jobs and my past experiences have turned my world around. I’ve been cleaning people’s houses, babysitting, ironing and for the past 2 years, I’ve been working in an outdoor shop. Have I enjoyed them all? I’ve met the most amazing people through these jobs, I got to look after the brothers and sisters I never had (and be annoyed by them at the same time), I learned that ruining someone else’s shirt is not the end of the world (though I’m sure that’s the reason they never asked me to iron their clothes again) and I get to listen to people’s traveling plans when coming to the shop to buy shoes. Do I want a good job related to my degree? Of course I do. Will I be depressed and go all crazy if I won’t get one? Hell no! There’s always coffee to make and houses to clean.
I managed to stop criticizing my every wrong move and accept the fact that I’ll make mistakes and the others around me will do the same. I stopped apologizing for my big dreams, my silly drama-queen moments, my lame posts on a blog, my wish to be happy. And I finally found a survival plan when the zombie apocalypse happens. I think I’m pretty sorted.